Flowers for M

In the spring of 2016 when the Spring flowers were in bloom, a dear family member had a potentially fatal brain hemorrhage. We rushed them to the hospital where they had emergency brain surgery. They were in the ICU for several days and then had a month long stay in the hospital to recover. To remain by their side I spent every night sleeping on the couch in the hospital room. Flowers were sent to the hospital room and we placed them in the window. During the day I took breaks and would walk to a flower garden in front of the hospital to stare at their pure color. It was some kind of sanity maintenance, filling my face and mind with hope and purity. I had recently bought a vintage Polaroid SX-70 camera on E-bay that came with several packs of expired film. Since the film was expired, some of the interior chemistry would not move all of the way up to fill the Polaroid frame to develop the latent image. I see these forms like evidence of blood flowing into the brain. Flowers have many functions in our natural environment. They act as protection for seeds and allow for self-propagation by attracting pollinators with their color and scent. Some flowers have infrared color markings that can only be seen by bees or birds. Among humans, flowers are ritual symbols of purity, consolation, and hope. Trauma has a way of sharpening our awareness and cracking open our perception. Staring into these flowers, it was as if I were staring directly into the source of all life. It filled me up and gave me hope.